Vote your own adventure.

Election Day is coming up.

• [[I'm so excited to vote!]]
• I guess voting is my inalienable right, but [[I don't really feel like it.]]
• Sounds [[expensive.]]

In fact, I'm going to take a look at my [[ballot]] right now.

But everything in the news right now is so overwhelming, and I don’t know how to help. I have a feeling that every vote counts. Maybe if I vote, I can elect people who hold the same values as me. I just convinced myself!

Okay, I'll [[nut up and vote.]]

Actually, on second thought, [[voting is free.]]

Wait, who am I voting for?

• [[Oh right, I remember.]]
• I'll [[look it up.]]

Wait, who am I voting for?

• [[Oh right, I remember.]]
• I'll [[look it up.]]

And everything in the news right now is so overwhelming and I don’t know how to help. I have a feeling that every vote counts. Maybe if I vote, I can elect people who hold the same values as me. I just convinced myself!

Okay, I’ll [[nut up and vote.]]

I'm so excited! [[Can I vote right now?]]

Wow, I found my entire ballot <a href="https://www.ballotready.org/" target="_blank">here!</a>

All studied up! [[Can I vote right now?]]

Oh, right, Election Day is November 6th. A general election in the United States of America is always on the first Tuesday in November, unless November 1st itself is a Tuesday, in which case it’s the following Tuesday. But that exception doesn’t even apply this year. BUT, there are <a href="https://www.headcount.org/early-voting-and-absentee-voting/" target="_blank">37 states with early voting.</a> If I can, I will, because I literally feel like I will puke if I don’t vote ASAP now that I’m in this deep. But if not, <a href="https://www.ourstates.org/engage" target="_blank">I’ll contact my state legislator about changing when and how we vote so that we can vote early and more easily, too.</a>

I sure know a lot about the electoral process in the United States!

• [[I even remember where my polling place is.]]
• [[Except I don't know where to vote.]]

I’ve actually learned nothing from this text adventure so far. [[I’ll keep going anyway, because I’m invested now that this game has really found its voice.]]

But I’ll look it up <a href="https://yourfuckingpollingplace.com/" target="_blank">here.</a> And it’ll be an enjoyable interlude into a different editorial [[voice.]]

Conveniently, my polling place is right near my house! I can even use my favorite transit, GPS, or route-planning app to [[get there.]]

Ugh—I’ve got a ton of shit to do on November 6th. [[Why isn’t Election Day a holiday everywhere?]]

Guess I’ll never know. Maybe that’s something I should talk to my <a href="https://www.ourstates.org/engage/" target="_blank">state reps</a> about. In the meantime, I’ll just have to put voting on my calendar for November 6th.

• [[When do my polls open?]] I don’t want to be late for work on Bagel Tuesday.
• Actually, [[I live in AZ, CA, CO, HI, IL, IO, KS, MD, MN, MO, NE, NV, NM, NY, OH, OK, SD, TN, TX, UT, WV, or WY, so it doesn’t matter what time the polls open.]] My boss Susan is required to give me a few hours off at the beginning or end of the day to go vote without docking my pay. I have to remember to notify her, though.

I just found that information <a href="https://ballotpedia.org/State_Poll_Opening_and_Closing_Times_(2018)" target="_blank">here.</a>

[[Great, now it’s in my calendar.]]

I can’t get enough of being prepared. I just love the stuff!

• [[I’m 100% positive I already know what I need to take with me on Election Day.]]
• [[I’m excited to find out what I need to take with me on Election Day!]] I’ll even pack it the night before so I don’t forget like I always do because I’m a dumbass who doesn’t know how to vote.

In life, I find it’s equally important to know what I cannot bring to the polls. Luckily that list is pretty short. I can’t bring anything illegal, because it’s not the wild west, and I can’t bring Susan, my boss, in case she tries to pressure me to vote a certain way. (That’s 100% actually the law.)

[[Now I’m completely ready to go vote.]]

I made myself a checklist based on <a href="https://www.vote.org/voter-id-laws/" target="_blank">this helpful information.</a>

[[Now I know what I need.]]

[[Now I’m completely ready to go vote.]]

Okay, I’m here! What a nice community center, church, or public school cafeteria.

• [[There’s a huge line.]]
• [[I can walk right in like I own the place.]]

That’s ok. I’m actually obsessed with standing in line at dinnertime on a Tuesday. Turns out they have to [[let me vote]] if I’m in line before closing time. Perfect! I hope I’m here forever.

But I know that I can’t own a public school cafeteria, except in the general sense that all taxpayers contribute to their upkeep and maintenance. [[I love voting and government!]]

I’m inside. I’m going to check in with a poll worker and tell them my name.

• [[They can't find me on the list, even though I'm registered to vote.]]
• [[I'm on the list, just like I'm supposed to be!]]

I’m inside. I’m going to check in with a poll worker and tell them my name.

• [[They can't find me on the list, even though I'm registered to vote.]]
• [[I'm on the list, just like I'm supposed to be!]]

I have the right to ask for a [[provisional ballot.]]

Oh perfect. The ballot is just like filling out a standardized test. I got a 7 on my SATs. But this time, <a href="https://www.ballotready.org/" target="_blank">I know the right answers ahead of time!</a>

[[I’m making sure I fill in all of these circles completely and it still only takes me 5 fucking minutes to vote.]]

I know that a provisional ballot counts just like a regular ballot. They just have to double-check my registration back at voting HQ before they accept it, so it goes [[in a separate pile.]]

I also know that a provisional ballot is also called an [[affidavit ballot.]]

Wow what a fun digression I just experienced, standing in front of the check-in table! I have my ballot, and [[I’m ready to vote now.]]

[[I’m making sure I fill in all of these circles completely and it still only takes me 5 fucking minutes to vote.]]

I remembered to vote all the way up, down, and around the ballot! [[State elections matter.]]

That rocked ass. Now I need to turn in my completed ballot!

• The signs in this polling location are incredibly clear, so I’m just going to [[put my ballot where indicated.]]
• I don’t know where to put this thing, but that poll worker over there is hot—[[I’ll ask them what to do.]]

Done! I voted. I’m going to post my vote at <a href="https://www.instagram.com/stateelectionsmatter/" target="_blank">#StateElectionsMatter</a>, because the only thing better than voting is getting attention for it!

Disclaimer: By completing this text adventure, you didn’t actually vote in the election. But you killed ten minutes—laughing, crying, learning to participate in democracy.